they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
