summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
