i think my tv is drunk
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize