He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
