Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
