I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
