ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
