then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
