capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
