The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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