We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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