..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I had to cum in my sink.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
