oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize