I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
