His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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