rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
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P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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