You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
