thus making me awesome and them whores
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
