WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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