why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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