is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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