so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
