"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize