You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
