That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
