singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The air taste purple.
Randomize
