he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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