I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
