I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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