That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He better not be in your backpack
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
