I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
