The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
