the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
