Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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