he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
