Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
