For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The feeling are messing with the penis
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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