My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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