All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
