someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
