Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
