Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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