I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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