you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
