I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
