Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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