I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
