Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
