I just pynch a tree in the face
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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