I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
