you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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