The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize