That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
