Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
