the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
