C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
