unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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